These Violent Delights
by Angels-in-the-snow
Summary: Harry conforts Hermione while she tries to come to terms with her new reality and the loss she faced. NOT a Harry/Hermione!


**I'm sorry, its been a while.**

"You should come back home soon, it's getting pretty cold out," Harry said softly, coming up behind her. When she didn't respond, he lowered himself down next to her and grabbed her hand. Surprised that she didn't rip her arm back, he glanced over at Hermione. Shoulders slumping slightly at her blank stare, he glanced at the grave. He felt his chest tighten the same way it always did when he saw the grave, and confusion as to why Hermione was so sad.

"It's not the same without him; I feel so alone," she whispered, her voice scratchy from her tears. Harry felt a flash of anger, thinking that she didn't have a right to think that he wasn't here for her, that she was alone, but the anger went as quickly as it came. She's right, he thought, I obviously haven't been there enough. Hermione finally turned away from looking at his grave, and with her head resting on her knees, whispered, "How am I supposed to go on?" Harry's heart broke at the question and he wondered briefly, how she would.

"You never told me how you met," Harry said, tucking Hermione under his arm. She stiffened, and Harry feared that she would pull away, but she relaxed and curled into him. He smiled slightly at the action.

"Well I've known him as long as you have," she paused and, when Harry rolled his eyes and turned to look back at Draco's grave, she smirked slightly, "I met him on the train, before our second year,". At the look of shock and disbelief on Harry's face, Hermione giggled slightly. Even though it was at his expense, Harry was thrilled that she still could laugh, if only a little. "I was going out of my mind looking for the two of you. At first, I thought that the Weasleys didn't make it, which wouldn't have been so surprising if you had been with me. But then I wondered if something had happened," she said, frowning. She stopped for a moment, her eyes far away.

Harry waited a few minutes before nudging her slightly with his knee. She glanced up at him. "Sorry," she murmured, adjusting her scarf more tightly around her neck. "I literally ran into him looking for you guys".

*Flashback*

"What the hell, Granger? Get your filthy hands off me," Draco spit out as he caught her, before she plowed him over. She blushed heavily, looking down at her shoes.

"Yeah, you low life, what the bloody hell are you doing?" Hermione rolled her eyes at both the insult and Crabbe's attempt at being a 'tough guy'. Draco grinned slightly at her reaction but caught himself before she could see. She crossed her arms, popping out her hip.

"I can't find Harry and Ron," Hermione finally spit out.

"Maybe they dropped out?" Draco asked, smirking.

"One could only hope," Goyle interjected, nudging Crabbe. Draco laughed. Feeling the urge to stamp her foot, Hermione murmured under her breath,

"Why am I wasting my time?", before turning to walk away. Impulsively, Draco reached out and grabbed her shoulder.

"Wait," he said. "I guess we could help you out. Only cause we haven't got anything else more important to do. Right, boys?"

*end flashback*

"When I couldn't find you, I ended up sitting with them for the rest of the trip," she smiled softly before continuing, "We played exploding snaps and ate chocolate and laughed. Pansy became my best friend that day." She laughed bitterly at Harry's look of shock, and she cut off his protest before it began.

"We weren't dumb. We knew we couldn't be friends in public. Draco couldn't think I was cute," Hermione laughed, surprising Harry so much he jumped at the sharp sound. "Pansy told me that, a week later. I didn't believe her, not until after I had been petrified."

"What do you mean, 'after you were petrified?'" Harry asked.

"He visited me whenever they could. They all did," Hermione said.

*Flashback*

"I got here as soon as I could," Draco said, breathing hard. "Potter and Weasel just wouldn't leave," he growled. Pansy rolled her eyes, looking down at Hermione's frozen form.

"What he means is, WE got here as soon as we heard," Pansy corrected, but her eyes were soft as she looked down at Draco's kneeling form. She rested her hand on his shoulder. "Of course, we know you'll be alright, so there is no reason for us to worry," she frowned when Draco didn't answer. "Right, Draco?" Draco glanced over to her, his eyes glazed, before looking back down at Hermione.

"Right," he murmured, rubbing his hand lightly over Hermione's cheek. Pansy glanced around, worried they could be caught.

"We can't be here much longer," Pansy warned, "It's too dangerous." Draco nodded sharply, but hesitated. He pressed a kiss on Hermione's forehead and whispered,

"I'll come back."

*End Flashback*

"He came back the next night. And then the night after and the night after that," she smiled slightly, "sometimes he brought Pansy, sometimes he didn't," she glanced over to Harry, "sometimes he read to me."

"What did he read you?" Harry asked, not knowing what else to say. Hermione looked over at Draco's grave and smiled slightly at the engraving.

"Shakespeare, mostly," she said, softly. Harry glanced over, shocked that he would be willing to read her muggle writing. Hermione, who caught his look, rolled her eyes and said, "I know, I know, it sounds a little crazy." Harry muttered under his breath,

"A little?" Hermione gave him a dark look, and Harry smiled sheepishly. "Sorry, habit." Hermione smiled, rolling her eyes. "What did he read to you?" Harry asked after a moment, as a peace offering.

" _Romeo and Juliet_ ," she responded, smiling slightly, "and sometimes _A Midsummer Night's Dream_ whenever he was feeling hopeful. It was his favorite; he never liked tragedy." She frowned, before laying her head down on her knee. "At least Juliet never had to live long after Romeo died. And something good came out of their deaths."

"Something good did come out of his sacrifice."

They sat in silence for a while, listening to the wind and soaking in the darkness.

"I just wish—" she cut herself off, fiddling with the ring chained around her neck. "I just wish we could've said goodbye," she finished, sniffling. Harry pulled her tighter against him.

"Tell me about your favorite memory,". She sat thoughtfully for a moment, before settling into a wistful smile.

*Flashback*

"Granger!" Draco yelled down the corridor. "Got any plans this weekend?" Pansy sneered,

"Why would a mudblood like her have any plans? She's probably just going to be holed up in the library." Hermione, playing her part, looked down at her shoes like she was about to cry.

"Well, we will be going to Hogsmeade," Pansy said, gloating as she walked away. Draco knocked into her, sending Hermione stumbling back.

"Watch out, Mudblood," he sneered as he walked away. She pretending her cheeks were read from anger, not from the note he slipped to her.

*End Flashback*

"Well, don't leave me hanging here," Harry said, nudging her slightly, "What'd the note say?" Hermione rolled her eyes before continuing.

*Flashback*

She walked as quickly as she could down the corridors, trying not to laugh at the pitying glances she got from all but the students in green. By the time she got to her room, she could hardly contain herself long enough to make sure that she was alone. She opened the letter as fast as she could without ripping it, grinning at the note.

 _H,_

 _Shrieking Shack. 11._

 _D_

 _P.S. I love you_

*End Flashback*

"It was a perfect day," Hermione said, wistfully. "The snow was melting, so it wasn't too cold, but cold enough that I had an excuse to cuddle," she paused, smiling softly. "Not that I ever needed an excuse." Smirking, she elaborated, "He's the most touchy-feely person I've ever met." She laughed at the look on Harry's face.

"Malfoy? Touchy-feely?" Harry exclaimed in disbelief. Hermione smiled before repeating,

"The most I've ever met."

*Flashback*

"Come onnnnn, let go," Hermione whined, trying to wiggle out of his grasp. "We have potions in ten, and just because your godfather will let you off easy, doesn't mean he won't skin me alive." Draco just held on tighter.

"I'm sure he'd understand," Draco murmured into her back. Hermione shivered at the feel of his breath on her bare back.

"Yes, I'm sure he'd understand" Hermione rolled her eyes before saying, "Yes, sorry I am late Professor, I was having a quick shag and—" Hermione squealed as Draco suddenly pushed her off the bed, his laughter ringing in her ears.

"Fine, leave me here, all alone" He exclaimed, falling back into the bed with a _thump._ Hermione laid on the ground for another moment before groaning and saying,

"I guess I can spare five minutes," Draco's smirk sent shivers done her spine. She never made it to class.

*End Flashback*

"Wait, when—?" Harry asked, before Hermione cut him off.

"That was fourth year," Hermione said, softly. "Once we started, we didn't stop. Its no wonder—" she cut herself off.

"Its no wonder what?" Harry asked, not letting her get off that easily. She was silent for a while, and Harry could feel her beginning to shake.

"I considered jumping, the day he died" she said softly, looking over at him, "I was in the Astronomy tower and I was looking at all the death and the destruction and he was dead and I thought Pansy was gone and I just wanted it to end but—," she stopped and took a deep breathe, "but I'm pregnant. I found out a few days before the final battle. We met up one night while we were on the run. I know, I know it was dangerous; we knew we couldn't do it again. It was a fucked up goodbye, a 'just in case'. We thought we'd survive." She curled her knees in tighter, and Harry's heart crept into his throat at the tears that were streaming down her face. "How could he leave me?" Her breathing quickened, and the tears came faster. "We had a plan. A life. A child, a little girl. We were just going to go to—"

"You were just going to leave? Leave me?" Harry interjected, disbelief clouding his confusion. How didn't he know that his best friend was in love with the man he wanted dead for so long?

"What would you have done?" Before he could answer, she continued, "It doesn't matter. We knew we couldn't run away. We wouldn't have gotten away from Voldemort, or from the lives we had. We had to finish it out one way or the other." She laughed bitterly, tears running down her face. Harry didn't know what to say. He knew there wasn't anything to do to make her feel better or to make it hurt less, so he pulled her against his chest and stated silent. They gazed at the grave in front of them, wishing for a better ending.

" _These violent delights have violent ends_ _  
_ _And in their triump die, like fire and powder_ _  
_ _Which, as they kiss, consume (_ Shakespeare) _"_


End file.
